Anyone know how hard it is to be a military spouse, a mother, a full time student, and try to stay sane in the process? I do have to say that I am DAMN PROUD of myself for making it through this deployment on my own without family and a lot of help. I have to be honest, on day one of this journey I didn't know how I would do it but we are creeping up on day 345 of this long deployment and I have never felt stronger and more confident in my whole life...I am proud of myself and any other military spouse out there that is fighting this fight everyday!!
There are a lot of things that I have witnessed this last year that I don't agree with and even things that have brought me joy. I have been criticized for being opinionated and loud when it comes to what I believe in. I think this makes me stronger, the only people that would complain are those that feel threatened. I don't want anyone to be threatened by me however I DO want them to know that I will not back down when it comes to something I believe in. I try to be open minded and listen but as soon as the person starts sounding like an ass my "idiot shield"goes up and then all I hear is Charlie Browns teacher LOL!!
I have come to learn that no matter what the case, if your spouse is deploys so does half of your heart, just like the bumper sticker says. I was at a store once waiting in a 20 deep line during Christmas and a lady noticed my military I.D. and preceded to ask me a million questions, which I didn't mind. Her questions kept my mind of the fact that my kids were about to have a melt down. How do you manage your life knowing your husband is in Iraq and could die? I said I try not to think of those things. I push on knowing he will be home soon. She also asked me if I felt bad for putting my kids through a deployment. I had actually never thought about that but I told her that military kids are probably some of the strongest kids you'll ever meet and that it is a learning experience for them. Their daddy is a hero and he has to leave sometimes to go help people that can't help themselves. She also mentioned something that was very odd, she said she felt sorry for the children of deployments but not the single wives, like somehow they were a whole different being. I told her that was NOT FAIR. How do you think it feels laying in an empty bed let alone a house? No children to keep you going. THEY are literally alone. They hurt just as much as me or any other wife. She seemed to understand. I never seen her again. I am almost glad because I was trying very hard not to tell her to get a clue.
Something I will never forget are the joys that were thrown my way during our journey this past year. My son has done amazing dealing with his mild autism. He has grown to be the man of the house while dad is gone. People said he would be behind in school and need help!! According to the last report card he is doing amazing and even talks about being a helicopter pilot!! My daughter, where do I start LOL!!?? She is growing way to fast for my liking. I want to hold her like a baby and she tells me that she is NO BABY!! She is all grown up and it is bittersweet for me. Her daddy too because he is missing it all!! She asks me everyday, "Where the heck is that helicopter with my daddy on it?" My children have kept leveled. When I felt like this deployment got the best of me they took me by the hand and said "mommy I love you". On a lighter note, this deployment has taught me that, when you first burn dinner, try try again!! because of this I have become a great cook, if I do say so myself! My kids are thankful for the last part..I seen a hunger strike in their future LOL. I have gotten several makeovers courtesy of my daughter, and I have to say that when you are feeling down and out and missing your hubby, nothing makes you laugh more than seeing how your face looks after your 5 year gets ahold of it!! They make my life better and without them I don't think I would have made it!! Just seeing how strong my children have been this whole deployment has made me feel proud to be their mother!! Another joy most take for granted is hearing my husbands voice and the most needing time. All I need to hear is that 2 second delayed "Hello there, how are you?" and my day is better by far. I try not to spend a majority of my day thinking of him because it just makes me cry. Then I think of all the goofy things he says and does, his hugs, his love for me, then I start to feel better. He is my heart, my hero, my soldier.
"Military relationships are the product of many tears born both in happiness and in despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing thats the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent. But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my Soldier truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to the U.S. Army, but to me. And THAT makes everything worthwhile." (Unknown)
There are a lot of things that I have witnessed this last year that I don't agree with and even things that have brought me joy. I have been criticized for being opinionated and loud when it comes to what I believe in. I think this makes me stronger, the only people that would complain are those that feel threatened. I don't want anyone to be threatened by me however I DO want them to know that I will not back down when it comes to something I believe in. I try to be open minded and listen but as soon as the person starts sounding like an ass my "idiot shield"goes up and then all I hear is Charlie Browns teacher LOL!!
I have come to learn that no matter what the case, if your spouse is deploys so does half of your heart, just like the bumper sticker says. I was at a store once waiting in a 20 deep line during Christmas and a lady noticed my military I.D. and preceded to ask me a million questions, which I didn't mind. Her questions kept my mind of the fact that my kids were about to have a melt down. How do you manage your life knowing your husband is in Iraq and could die? I said I try not to think of those things. I push on knowing he will be home soon. She also asked me if I felt bad for putting my kids through a deployment. I had actually never thought about that but I told her that military kids are probably some of the strongest kids you'll ever meet and that it is a learning experience for them. Their daddy is a hero and he has to leave sometimes to go help people that can't help themselves. She also mentioned something that was very odd, she said she felt sorry for the children of deployments but not the single wives, like somehow they were a whole different being. I told her that was NOT FAIR. How do you think it feels laying in an empty bed let alone a house? No children to keep you going. THEY are literally alone. They hurt just as much as me or any other wife. She seemed to understand. I never seen her again. I am almost glad because I was trying very hard not to tell her to get a clue.
Something I will never forget are the joys that were thrown my way during our journey this past year. My son has done amazing dealing with his mild autism. He has grown to be the man of the house while dad is gone. People said he would be behind in school and need help!! According to the last report card he is doing amazing and even talks about being a helicopter pilot!! My daughter, where do I start LOL!!?? She is growing way to fast for my liking. I want to hold her like a baby and she tells me that she is NO BABY!! She is all grown up and it is bittersweet for me. Her daddy too because he is missing it all!! She asks me everyday, "Where the heck is that helicopter with my daddy on it?" My children have kept leveled. When I felt like this deployment got the best of me they took me by the hand and said "mommy I love you". On a lighter note, this deployment has taught me that, when you first burn dinner, try try again!! because of this I have become a great cook, if I do say so myself! My kids are thankful for the last part..I seen a hunger strike in their future LOL. I have gotten several makeovers courtesy of my daughter, and I have to say that when you are feeling down and out and missing your hubby, nothing makes you laugh more than seeing how your face looks after your 5 year gets ahold of it!! They make my life better and without them I don't think I would have made it!! Just seeing how strong my children have been this whole deployment has made me feel proud to be their mother!! Another joy most take for granted is hearing my husbands voice and the most needing time. All I need to hear is that 2 second delayed "Hello there, how are you?" and my day is better by far. I try not to spend a majority of my day thinking of him because it just makes me cry. Then I think of all the goofy things he says and does, his hugs, his love for me, then I start to feel better. He is my heart, my hero, my soldier.
"Military relationships are the product of many tears born both in happiness and in despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing thats the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent. But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my Soldier truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to the U.S. Army, but to me. And THAT makes everything worthwhile." (Unknown)
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