It is 1:41 am and I am wide awake! I did not have any tea today so I am not sure why! The family and I went for a bike ride today..BIG MISTAKE! It was HOTT AS HELL outside! We wont be doing that again til at least fall lol...I thought I had heat stroke!
Anyway, we are considering going active duty army. I love the life and my husband loves to fly so it works. The schools are awesome which is NUMERO UNO on my list of "MUSTS"!
Apparently I have the most random thoughts at 1am :-)
I am thinking of paiting the kids bathroom something other than hideous apartment white! Needs a boost I think...maybe blue or green. Something bright and cheerful. The theme is montsers...just random monsters and silly faces. Very cute..at least the kiddos think so!
We are headed to the pool early in the morning to avoid the crazies...the smoke and beer drinking 24/7 is just too much to deal with so I think we will avoid it!
I knew blogging would help me become sleepy..I am not sure what that says about me..maybe I am boring LOL nite Bloggsville!!!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Since the last time I blogged...
Alot has happened since the last time I blogged....
Right before my husband returned from Iraq I got into a heated and much expected email war with the FRG leader at my husbands old (old is right...keep reading). She is a sweet woman but has no clue about much of anything. None of us wives had heard from her at all during the deployment...she raised funds but where are they? She finally decides at the end of this LONG deployment to try to be friends with everyone! I send her an email with my thoughts and constructive critism ;-) and I get an much expected rant back. She whined about her family and having a new baby, she was pregnant when she took the job which is a red flag when your no pro at this stuff. HA what made my day was when she ran to her husband, who was still in iraq, and cried about me, the big mean bully. He confronts my husband LOL who said "you are coming to me, in Iraq, about a argument between wives? Since when should we care? I do not control my wife she has a mind and a MOUTH of her own ;-)". MAIN REASON I LOVE THIS MAN, he has never tried to make me be anything other than myself. Anyway, in her case, I guess when your hubby has a little rank and you are a complete idiot it is ok to use his rank to make you look worth a damn! Well needless to say we aren't BFF LOL
I found out before we left that the reason I was not getting pregnant was because I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. We were sad at this discovery but knows that GOD has a reason for everything. I do have some pain but take Motrin which helps!
Anyway, so the hubs came home from this deployment for good around Feb. of this year. By the first of May we have made the move to Mississippi, which has turned out to be ok so far. He is making the commute to the Arkansas National Guard unit and they seem to be really cool people according to DH. I am happy if he is happy. He transfered to a Costco in the area. He seems to like it. Apparently he gets praised for his speed because he puts others shame.
We live in an apartment which is very nice. Pool, playground, workout room, which might I add is awesome to look at :-). The kids have made friends which is all I ever really wanted in a place to live. They need to be kids with other kids. The people here are nice, with the exception of a few special people that just make you question how they have made it this far. I have not made any close friends because it is hard for me to trust people.
My son has made amazing progress with his autism, you can not even tell there was even an issue. My daughter is growing to fast. She will be in kindergarten this year. Bittersweet.
I am currently looking for work so that I am not sitting at home alone..while everyone is at work or school. I am in college full time with the University of Phoenix. So far so good, GPA 3.6 :-)
I am hoping to be able to spend more time on my blog so stand tuned if there is anyone out there reading this...if not..then at least I have somewhere to write down my thoughts :-)
Right before my husband returned from Iraq I got into a heated and much expected email war with the FRG leader at my husbands old (old is right...keep reading). She is a sweet woman but has no clue about much of anything. None of us wives had heard from her at all during the deployment...she raised funds but where are they? She finally decides at the end of this LONG deployment to try to be friends with everyone! I send her an email with my thoughts and constructive critism ;-) and I get an much expected rant back. She whined about her family and having a new baby, she was pregnant when she took the job which is a red flag when your no pro at this stuff. HA what made my day was when she ran to her husband, who was still in iraq, and cried about me, the big mean bully. He confronts my husband LOL who said "you are coming to me, in Iraq, about a argument between wives? Since when should we care? I do not control my wife she has a mind and a MOUTH of her own ;-)". MAIN REASON I LOVE THIS MAN, he has never tried to make me be anything other than myself. Anyway, in her case, I guess when your hubby has a little rank and you are a complete idiot it is ok to use his rank to make you look worth a damn! Well needless to say we aren't BFF LOL
I found out before we left that the reason I was not getting pregnant was because I have PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome. We were sad at this discovery but knows that GOD has a reason for everything. I do have some pain but take Motrin which helps!
Anyway, so the hubs came home from this deployment for good around Feb. of this year. By the first of May we have made the move to Mississippi, which has turned out to be ok so far. He is making the commute to the Arkansas National Guard unit and they seem to be really cool people according to DH. I am happy if he is happy. He transfered to a Costco in the area. He seems to like it. Apparently he gets praised for his speed because he puts others shame.
We live in an apartment which is very nice. Pool, playground, workout room, which might I add is awesome to look at :-). The kids have made friends which is all I ever really wanted in a place to live. They need to be kids with other kids. The people here are nice, with the exception of a few special people that just make you question how they have made it this far. I have not made any close friends because it is hard for me to trust people.
My son has made amazing progress with his autism, you can not even tell there was even an issue. My daughter is growing to fast. She will be in kindergarten this year. Bittersweet.
I am currently looking for work so that I am not sitting at home alone..while everyone is at work or school. I am in college full time with the University of Phoenix. So far so good, GPA 3.6 :-)
I am hoping to be able to spend more time on my blog so stand tuned if there is anyone out there reading this...if not..then at least I have somewhere to write down my thoughts :-)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
To The Finish Line We Go...
Anyone know how hard it is to be a military spouse, a mother, a full time student, and try to stay sane in the process? I do have to say that I am DAMN PROUD of myself for making it through this deployment on my own without family and a lot of help. I have to be honest, on day one of this journey I didn't know how I would do it but we are creeping up on day 345 of this long deployment and I have never felt stronger and more confident in my whole life...I am proud of myself and any other military spouse out there that is fighting this fight everyday!!
There are a lot of things that I have witnessed this last year that I don't agree with and even things that have brought me joy. I have been criticized for being opinionated and loud when it comes to what I believe in. I think this makes me stronger, the only people that would complain are those that feel threatened. I don't want anyone to be threatened by me however I DO want them to know that I will not back down when it comes to something I believe in. I try to be open minded and listen but as soon as the person starts sounding like an ass my "idiot shield"goes up and then all I hear is Charlie Browns teacher LOL!!
I have come to learn that no matter what the case, if your spouse is deploys so does half of your heart, just like the bumper sticker says. I was at a store once waiting in a 20 deep line during Christmas and a lady noticed my military I.D. and preceded to ask me a million questions, which I didn't mind. Her questions kept my mind of the fact that my kids were about to have a melt down. How do you manage your life knowing your husband is in Iraq and could die? I said I try not to think of those things. I push on knowing he will be home soon. She also asked me if I felt bad for putting my kids through a deployment. I had actually never thought about that but I told her that military kids are probably some of the strongest kids you'll ever meet and that it is a learning experience for them. Their daddy is a hero and he has to leave sometimes to go help people that can't help themselves. She also mentioned something that was very odd, she said she felt sorry for the children of deployments but not the single wives, like somehow they were a whole different being. I told her that was NOT FAIR. How do you think it feels laying in an empty bed let alone a house? No children to keep you going. THEY are literally alone. They hurt just as much as me or any other wife. She seemed to understand. I never seen her again. I am almost glad because I was trying very hard not to tell her to get a clue.
Something I will never forget are the joys that were thrown my way during our journey this past year. My son has done amazing dealing with his mild autism. He has grown to be the man of the house while dad is gone. People said he would be behind in school and need help!! According to the last report card he is doing amazing and even talks about being a helicopter pilot!! My daughter, where do I start LOL!!?? She is growing way to fast for my liking. I want to hold her like a baby and she tells me that she is NO BABY!! She is all grown up and it is bittersweet for me. Her daddy too because he is missing it all!! She asks me everyday, "Where the heck is that helicopter with my daddy on it?" My children have kept leveled. When I felt like this deployment got the best of me they took me by the hand and said "mommy I love you". On a lighter note, this deployment has taught me that, when you first burn dinner, try try again!! because of this I have become a great cook, if I do say so myself! My kids are thankful for the last part..I seen a hunger strike in their future LOL. I have gotten several makeovers courtesy of my daughter, and I have to say that when you are feeling down and out and missing your hubby, nothing makes you laugh more than seeing how your face looks after your 5 year gets ahold of it!! They make my life better and without them I don't think I would have made it!! Just seeing how strong my children have been this whole deployment has made me feel proud to be their mother!! Another joy most take for granted is hearing my husbands voice and the most needing time. All I need to hear is that 2 second delayed "Hello there, how are you?" and my day is better by far. I try not to spend a majority of my day thinking of him because it just makes me cry. Then I think of all the goofy things he says and does, his hugs, his love for me, then I start to feel better. He is my heart, my hero, my soldier.
"Military relationships are the product of many tears born both in happiness and in despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing thats the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent. But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my Soldier truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to the U.S. Army, but to me. And THAT makes everything worthwhile." (Unknown)
There are a lot of things that I have witnessed this last year that I don't agree with and even things that have brought me joy. I have been criticized for being opinionated and loud when it comes to what I believe in. I think this makes me stronger, the only people that would complain are those that feel threatened. I don't want anyone to be threatened by me however I DO want them to know that I will not back down when it comes to something I believe in. I try to be open minded and listen but as soon as the person starts sounding like an ass my "idiot shield"goes up and then all I hear is Charlie Browns teacher LOL!!
I have come to learn that no matter what the case, if your spouse is deploys so does half of your heart, just like the bumper sticker says. I was at a store once waiting in a 20 deep line during Christmas and a lady noticed my military I.D. and preceded to ask me a million questions, which I didn't mind. Her questions kept my mind of the fact that my kids were about to have a melt down. How do you manage your life knowing your husband is in Iraq and could die? I said I try not to think of those things. I push on knowing he will be home soon. She also asked me if I felt bad for putting my kids through a deployment. I had actually never thought about that but I told her that military kids are probably some of the strongest kids you'll ever meet and that it is a learning experience for them. Their daddy is a hero and he has to leave sometimes to go help people that can't help themselves. She also mentioned something that was very odd, she said she felt sorry for the children of deployments but not the single wives, like somehow they were a whole different being. I told her that was NOT FAIR. How do you think it feels laying in an empty bed let alone a house? No children to keep you going. THEY are literally alone. They hurt just as much as me or any other wife. She seemed to understand. I never seen her again. I am almost glad because I was trying very hard not to tell her to get a clue.
Something I will never forget are the joys that were thrown my way during our journey this past year. My son has done amazing dealing with his mild autism. He has grown to be the man of the house while dad is gone. People said he would be behind in school and need help!! According to the last report card he is doing amazing and even talks about being a helicopter pilot!! My daughter, where do I start LOL!!?? She is growing way to fast for my liking. I want to hold her like a baby and she tells me that she is NO BABY!! She is all grown up and it is bittersweet for me. Her daddy too because he is missing it all!! She asks me everyday, "Where the heck is that helicopter with my daddy on it?" My children have kept leveled. When I felt like this deployment got the best of me they took me by the hand and said "mommy I love you". On a lighter note, this deployment has taught me that, when you first burn dinner, try try again!! because of this I have become a great cook, if I do say so myself! My kids are thankful for the last part..I seen a hunger strike in their future LOL. I have gotten several makeovers courtesy of my daughter, and I have to say that when you are feeling down and out and missing your hubby, nothing makes you laugh more than seeing how your face looks after your 5 year gets ahold of it!! They make my life better and without them I don't think I would have made it!! Just seeing how strong my children have been this whole deployment has made me feel proud to be their mother!! Another joy most take for granted is hearing my husbands voice and the most needing time. All I need to hear is that 2 second delayed "Hello there, how are you?" and my day is better by far. I try not to spend a majority of my day thinking of him because it just makes me cry. Then I think of all the goofy things he says and does, his hugs, his love for me, then I start to feel better. He is my heart, my hero, my soldier.
"Military relationships are the product of many tears born both in happiness and in despair, nights alone wondering where he is, if he's safe. It's looking at pictures, knowing thats the only way I can see his face, calling my voicemail to hear his voice, and not washing his clothes until they've lost his scent. But it's all worth it in the end, because I know I have one of the purest loves in the world because my Soldier truly knows the meaning of Honor, Courage, and Commitment, not only to the U.S. Army, but to me. And THAT makes everything worthwhile." (Unknown)
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